Seventy Two

That essay that I was obssessing over?  I got the grade back today.  72.  That’s a distinction and I should be happy.  I am happy.  But also worried.  My creative writing was not good: not in a “down on myself” way but in a genuine, “parts of this essay made no sense” way.  It will, at best, get a mid-merit, probably lower.  So I needed this essay to pull me up a bit.  My two courses this semester are much more difficult; they aren’t going to save me.  I want a distinction.

The essay jumps from topic to topic, leaping around like my thoughts were.  Like fleas.  And the punctuation is, as usual, erratic.  I have difficulty grasping its nuances.  The thing is, that I don’t think these are things I can change.  I have always, always had some kind of ridiculous difficulty in punctuating.  I have never been able to organise my ideas into something remotely structured.  And I can try and try and try but I really don’t think it will help.

So: I am happy.  I am, I am, I am.  72 is an amazing grade.  Especially at MA. The comments were so constructive and helpful and nice. And last term I was ill.

Oh forget this.  I am trying to be positive.  I can’t.


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