Today I decided to use my tax rebate (that part not eaten by irresponsibility) to join the uni gym. I ran. Treadmill, nearly an hour. My speed is still good, though it takes a lot more out of me and tomorrow, I know, will hurt. But it was good. It was good to know I haven’t completely lost the ability to run well, good to feel like I’d done right by myself.
I know running helps, gets my thoughts more linear, gives me a chance and a space to feel clearer. So I am really hoping I can keep this positive up now and avoid being tempted by lethargy. I also, shockingly, took up smoking on the psych. ward so now, during Lent, it is time to stop that nonsense, get running, stay fit. Look forward.
A lot of people hate February… this is going to be my New Year.
I have taken up scrapbooking again. Maybe I will post some pictures soon. It’s messy but therapeutic to tear up pages and glue back together images that mean anything.
I will explain the story of K later- less fluent than I thought I was- but suffice to say for now, I saw her kissing someone on a bus last night and I felt like the inside of my face cried down into my lungs and over my heart. Salt water tears.