They are doing their best. I know. But alcohol is not, as far as I am aware, a cause of bipolar. It is unlikely that “everything else will fall into place”. Were that the case, I would wave the magic wand of abstinence and it would be okay. I know, I know, I know that my life would be easier without alcohol. I know they are not wrong about that. But after two hospitalisations (neither of which was actually alcohol related) I think that perhaps they have the emphasis wrong, like non-native speakers of a language putting the stress on the wrong syllables. Exactly like that. We are speaking at cross purposes, different stresses on the same words. Incite / insight. The same thing, different things. Endless.
I have also been told that before I am allowed to come back from intermitting they will need to convene and make sure I am fit to do so. This made me feel very tired. After years of dealing with this, I know (now) what I can cope with or not. I refuse to have my future decided by others on the basis of one bad habit and one illness I can’t actually be cured of.
Today in the mirror I realised I look exactly my age. It was very alarming. On the bright side, I look quite like my mum.