Today, a friend said something really insightful to me. She said that it’s easy for me to “forget” how far I can go (with drinking, staying out, certain other boundaries) when I am around people who need to worry less about those things. To a point, they’re happy to encourage me; some people are even drawn to my spiral-light. Then I go past that point, and they can’t follow. And those who care least don’t wait for me to come back. This might sound like a pessimistic view to take and in a sense, it is. But it is nonetheless my experience recently. I went somewhere my friends couldn’t follow, and the only ones who wanted me back were the ones who hadn’t started the descent with me in the first place.
*When I thought about that, my first instinct was to go on a raging bender. I’m actually not going to, or at least I’m doing the “when you feel like going on a raging bender, watch Masterchef and think carefully about your calorie consumption” thing, for the next hour or so.