This Post Should Be Too Obvious To Exist

At the moment I am writing a kind of gay Bridget Jones. One question that keeps popping up for me is: why is masculinity a signifier of lesbianism? For example, when I tell people that I wanted to be a boy as a child, that ups my les-credentials. If I wear certain types of clothes, that lessens them. Why should “male” traits, behaviours or actions be seen as proof of “female” desire, and why are certain traits labelled masculine in the first place?

I don’t know, this kind of thing makes me feel irritated. I am me. Sometimes I wear boxers and a pink skirt. Sometimes I wear lipstick. Sometimes I make girls cry (allegedly “male”). Sometimes girls make me cry (“frequent”- sorry- “female”). I don’t wear skinny jeans. I am a vegetarian. I don’t have short hair. I do love women.

Some people are individuals. Get over it.


15 thoughts on “This Post Should Be Too Obvious To Exist

  1. Because as a society we have to label things, especially things we’re uncomfortable with. I’m overweight, have short hair, have always been more “male” than female, frequently wear mens clothing because it fits me better and is more comfortable….. and I love men. Yet people see me, don’t even speak to me, and think I’m a lesbian. Every single person. Even lesbians themselves. Because I’m different and I’m not what everyone thinks of as feminine, I must obviously be a lesbian.

  2. I don’t think it is. I was a “Tom Boy”. I climbed tress, mowed the lawn, went hunting, played with trucks and battled the Indians with the best boys in the neighborhood and my cousins. I was never one to get into ballet, like my mother, or to play with dolls, like my sister. Even as I matured I always led an independent life, supported myself, worked on my own cars and boats and did other such “masculine” things. I don’t think I look masculine. I don’t really see them as masculine things but I think other people might. To me it is being more a feminist. I am most certainly not lesbian. I might be a homosexual male trapped in a woman’s body tho. 🙂

    • Thanks for this comment. It’s sad that in society, independence and the ability to fix stuff is seen as “masculine” in the first place. I think I look pretty “feminine” but when people talk to me they assume that some of my personality traits are “masculine”, which I find ridiculous- why can’t we all just accept that people are people and being able to do certain things doesn’t make a person masculine, feminine or lesbian/ gay/ bi/ straight? (besides being a gay man in a woman’s body- haha- are you OK with the term “straight?” I know some people find it a bit dodgy.)

      • My ex husband was gay, and the greatest gift i could give him was the freedom to pursue his own happiness, yet i have nothing against gay freedom. I think I am just fine with the term “straight”. I also believe that we are all to some degree bi…we look a pretty woman and think, “Wow she’s hot'” but that doesn’t mean we are lesbian.

  3. Gay is gay is gay is gay is gay? When I was in the Air Force, I had at least one butch under my command, and one girl who was definitely girlier, but just as gay. My best friend Heather uses male pronouns ’cause they make him happy. So yeah, in short — viva individuality! ❤

  4. Well now a days. They have so many terms to try and differentiate “butch” “lipstick lesbe” “diesel dyke” “femme.” I think part came out of a term of the general terms of lesbian and butch- but in my opinion all it is adding is more labels.

    • Exactly. I hate being assumed straight just because I don’t fit the stereotype of “butch” “femme” or any of the other ones. Jeans & T-shirt lesbian.

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