I was discharged from psych. services a couple of weeks ago. Apparently they “only do” crisis, rather than any form of ongoing support. When I asked about keeping well, they gave me a number for Crisis services. Does this not seem unusual? I am trying to be responsible with my own mental health. I have been hospitalised twice this year and I would like to know that it doesn’t have to happen again, that it doesn’t have to reach crisis point before I am able to access help. I would like to be seen, say, once a month, to check in and make sure I am coping. Because once it reaches crisis point, I am not especially well able to shout for help. I don’t always particularly make sense when I’m ill. Moreover:
[conversation in Edinburgh]
Weird Unpleasant Psych: Well I don’t know that you need the quetiapine. I’ve never seen you high.
Me: [in my head] Why on earth would I come and see you in other than a self-punishing or desperate state?
Basically, at times when I could do with a hand, I rarely reach out for one. This year I was extremely lucky, though it didn’t feel so lucky at the time. But why should it be a matter of luck? Why should I let weeks of Feeling Generally Unwell* pass, before I am allowed to call?
* Feeling Generally Well is a favourite symptom on the NHS website. From a slight headache to an overwhelming fever or a brain tumour, Feeling Generally Unwell is on the list of almost every possible illness one could imagine. When ticking a symptom list, beware of counting Feeling Generally Unwell as an actual symptom, since when you think about it you can feel Generally Unwell quite a lot of the time without being in danger of imminent death.