I don’t need an education
I learned all I need from you
They’ve got me on some medication
My point of balance was askew
– Garbage, Medication
I stopped taking two of my medications. I see them as auxiliary medications, as my “main one” is the mood stabiliser. Still, I have been unwise and, as a friend pointed out today, if experience has taught me anything I should know not to med-dle.
The truth? I can’t actually afford to stay on the meds. The other truth? I feel fine. I know I feel fine because of my drugged up state. I know that I think much more clearly with the anti-psychotics unclogging my brain. When they started working I felt like a plughole with the hair suddenly yanked out of it… I felt clear. So I know how important it is to stay medicated. But something in me wants to let go. I am a child riding a bike without stabilisers. I am a mountaineer scaling without a harness.
I am free.
I am dangerous.