Day 11: What is the worst thing in regard to your mental illness(es)?
The worst thing is the lack of stability. I talk the talk about this big fight but I know realistically that my resolve might have drained in a couple of weeks. I might let go, fall down the slide, end up at the bottom watching my illness reach my dreams only to tear them down. It is exhausting having to be on constant guard of my moods and emotions, wondering if every blip will turn into a full-blown episode. It is exhausting working so hard only to convince myself I am not good enough. It is exhausting wondering if my life will ever amount to anything and, if not, whether it would have had I been a healthy, stable person.
The worst thing in regard to my mental illness is exhaustion.