Mentoring

Because of my unwell-ness, i get a DSA (Disabled Student’s Allowance).  It pays for a lot of things: Wi-Fi, a dictaphone, a printer.  But by far the most helpful thing is the mentoring.  I have a really nice mentor, C, who helps me get my studying sorted out.  For a while, when I was low/high/low, it ended up being close to therapy; I would cry, or panic, or talk at top speed, and C would bring me to the doctors, or the Nursing Service, at the uni.  I’m past those moments now (thank God) and C has been really, really helpful in getting my study plans sorted out with me.  It’s not like having things done for me.  I have to be active in making the plans, and sticking to them.  I have to remember to eat, or take meds (it’s actually strange/ embarrassing that I should have to be reminded to eat, or sleep- but I do).  If it wasn’t for C’s kindness and helpfulness, I’m not sure that I would be getting through my course right now.  I might still be racing through thousands of words at once, or staring at important books sobbing.  I might have given up by now.  When I’ve wanted to give up myself, it’s nice not to be given up on.  I think I can do this course.  I think, if I get the extensions I have asked for, I can do well.  I might not get the distinction I want to.  That weighs heavily on me, and I think about it with sadness.  But at the moment I have to be realistic.  C is helping me to be realistic and be happy with what I have achieved and can achieve, rather than freaking out about what I might not achieve.  It’s nice to have somebody on side.  It’s nice to have someone believe I can pass.

At the moment I am doing well with my research but struggling to write.  That struggle is being combated by timetables and conversations.  It’s pretty cool. 

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2 thoughts on “Mentoring

  1. This is a very inspirational post and you should be very proud that no matter what you are still pushing through and achieving so much. Big thumbs up from this end of the blogosphere 😀

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