I bumped into a friend outside the library.  It was really good to see her, nice to know I’m not alone in Canterbury, especially after A left last week.  It was nice catching up.

At one point:

“I’ve given up drinking,” I said.
“About bloody time, too,” my friend said.  “Not to mince my words or anything.”

I have realised, from the people I’ve told, that this is what everyone has been thinking.  I haven’t told that many people because when I slip up I don’t want it to be a big deal.  But the people I have told have all responded with relief and happiness.  Because I am not “just” a drinker.  I am not fun when I’ve had a few. I have a serious problem, and it leaves a blazing trail of destruction through all the parts of my life.  It hasn’t been months or days or weeks of people telling me this.  It has been more years than I care or dare to count.

I slipped up last night.  Stubborn little me refuses to fail.


4 thoughts on “Realisation

  1. If I drink too much I turn into a dick. Slipping up is ok, I think, and good luck on the continued sobriety. I believe in youuuuuuuuuu

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