Today in an internet support group, the subject was Character Defects. I wasn’t going to say anything and then I had to face it. I’m scared that my character defect is cruelty. I can be kind, generous and nice, definitely. But somewhere piercing through that is a streak of cruelty I find it hard to look at. I have had it pointed out to me, more than once, that I am not an exceptionally good friend when I am drinking. And I know that I have said and done some evil things while trying not to drink. And enjoyed it. But I can’t assume it’s all because of alcohol. I can’t make the mistake of blaming all my defects on something else, in the same way that I can’t use bipolar as an excuse for some of my behaviours. So I have to face up to it. I imagine it, twisted, blood red, vein blue, streaking its way through me like a snake. Cruelty. Who knew?