It’s an unbecoming personality trait, and one that I haven’t seen much of in myself before (probably arrogantly!)  But my sponsor said not to beat myself up about Tuesday and I’m really, really not.  I wonder if that’s an arrogance thing.  It’s slid off far too easily, as though it never happened.  I don’t mean that I should be beating my breast weeping at the very thought of it, but that maybe, despite what she said I don’t see it as a problem, and maybe that’s something of a problem in itself…  That I still see it as something perfectly within my control, despite any evidence to the contrary.  That I don’t think what I did was wrong, or desperate, or symptomatic of anything deeper, just that it was what it was and will be what it will be.  Either that’s some pure-calm, Zen, unlike-me self-acceptance, or it’s arrogance rearing its head.  I’ll find out very soon…

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