One thing I disagree with is that men in recovery should talk primarily to men, and women to women.  I think it’s an old-fashioned idea, and one that makes me uncomfortable.  Surely, if recovery can be seen as a shared experience, the gender of the person you are talking to shouldn’t be so important?  I’m female, and find men easier to talk to.  And it isn’t because I can “manipulate” them, or make them feel protective of me.  It’s just how I am.  I value my male friends in recovery and don’t see how their stories and attitudes can be that radically different to my own.

Please comment to set me straight if I’m wrong.


4 thoughts on “Old-Fashioned

  1. BB
    It seems to me that when we are in mixed company, and I mean heterosexuals, that we may “color,” what we say because we may have an agenda, whether conscious or unconscious.
    I have found that I can go to meetings and chat with women, but it is best for my support system, the ones who I can say anything to, to be men.

    • Jim,
      That makes sense. It’s been suggested I look for some LGBT meetings, because as much as I see the logic and sense in what you (and most other people) are saying to me, I just feel uncomfortable with it… I don’t know.

      Thanks for commenting, I appreciate your input and experience. It does make sense to me.


  2. I think it is ok to talk and good to do so. I talk regularly with female friends in recovery. The point is boot sponsorship and close working together that may be ill advised. Saying that I know several cross gender sponsorships that are terrific ones. Its not a rule just to remind you to think carefully before you chose.

    • Thanks for this comment, very insightful. I’ve just been confused by constantly being advised to “talk to more women” when, actually, I think it’s equally valuable to speak with men.x

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