The Insanity of It

Tonight a man came in to the meeting drunk.  Afterwards he wouldn’t leave and I think eventually they had to call the police.  I hate to admit this, because it is mad.  But when I see people drunk, even in that state, even behaving horribly, even knowing that they will wake up full of regret, I want to be drunk.  I spoke to someone online today and she said it makes her feel sick, knowing how easily that could be her.  And I can understand that, really.  But just now, just these moments, I want to feel that madness.

Afterwards, I sat with a friend and had chips by the canal.  That’s not very relevant but I think it should be in there as something nice to say.

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6 thoughts on “The Insanity of It

  1. I keep little bottles of several different liquors in my fridge, my own private little mini bar. Yet I don’t drink, haven’t in quite a long while now. And once in a blue moon, I dream of my dealer, from back in my old life (six years sober). And then I wake, and I’m here, safe, loved, sober, and with my daughter back in my life and I’m so happy to be me, this me.

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