to run, to fly

Initially I started running to lose weight.  I was tiny; I felt huge.  I would count every calorie totting up on the treadmill.  I would count every calorie as it enyereed my body.  But gradually I began to realise that running was something I was really good at.  That my body needed fuel to sustain speed, that I would have to eat if I wanted to get better at the sport.  I have never been into team sports- I’m not competitive in that way, plus I don’t like being shouted at.  But running, for me,                          became more than a source of exercise: it became a space in which I could just be, without   constraints.  I went from the treadmill to running   outside, flying through the marshes, or past   Epping Forest, or Snaresbrook crown court.  I  began to enjoy the feeling of wind or rain or sun  on my cheeks. I let go of my paranoia about being. seen by other people or laughed at, and realised  that, since I was doing something I liked and was  good at, what other people thought of me was  really none of my concern.

Fast forward to an ankle injury.  I have decided to run theHackney half marathon in May, to test myself.  My time won’t be nearly as good as it was a few years ago.  But perhaps that isn’t the point…maybe, for me, a personal best really means doing the best I can at any given time.  Cheesy as it sounds, maybe finishing this will be rewarding in itself.

i hope so.

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