I’ve often wondered what it would be like to bump into JP (not the pope but my old therapist).  It’s been seven years since I saw him and given the circumstances (broke up with girlfriend, therefore had nowhere to stay and moved back to London) I never got to say a proper goodbye.  I think when I left we both thought I’d be coming back, so even our last phone call didn’t end in the way I used to think endings were meant to.

I’ve written to him over the years, tying the loose ends into neat knots that in real life usually unravel, though I would never tell him that part.  I wrote to him when I got funding for my MA (but not when I got ill).  I wrote to him when I quit drinking (but not when I started again).  I toy with the idea of writing now, but I think I left things in a good place for him, and a note of hope is where every Recovery Narrative should end, right?

The truth is, that man’s kindness saved my life.  At my most down, at my lowest weight, at the deepest point of despair (up until that point), he was there, unjudging, prodding only gently and letting me reach my own conclusions where I had to.  I think a lot of people could do with a JP in their lives.

Occasionally I catch myself wondering what he would think if he could see me now, working, writing and drinking in moderation.  Then I stop wondering, because he can’t, of course, see me and perhaps the best I can do to say thank you is to live, live, live.


12 thoughts on “JP

  1. Thanks. I’m battling with my studies as a therapist/counsellor at the moment. I even posed a question the other day in my learning journal – “What do I provide here?” You’ve just offered me the exact reason why I’m trying to get through all this. Thank you so much

  2. Pingback: P | Only See Your Good Side

  3. It’s strange that none of us will ever know the full impact we may have on another’s life, some of them good, some not so much so. It can make a difference to get feedback now and again but, for the most part, we have to trust and believe in that. I think JP would understand progress and relapses – we all rise and fall. You yourself will be inspiring someone else with your journey even if you never know. Too often, as you said, in the first post I read here, we tend to see the good in others before we do in ourselves.
    That you are struggling but still trying is the best any of us can do.
    I wish you all the best in your studies and life and know, from your words here, that you are already making a difference.
    Btw, I popped over from Suzie’s.x

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