The first day I started at my job, I walked into a newsagents and bought a packet of chewing gum. I started up a conversation with the guy behind the till. As the days, weeks, months of my employment grew longer, we continued to have our brief chats: I was buying chocolate; I was buying chewing gum; I was buying wine. Today I had to walk somewhere and it had really begun to rain. He called me in to the shop. “Becks,” he said, “where are you going?” I told him. “Oh wait there, I’ve got an umbrella,” he replied. “Don’t you need it?” I asked him.
“Becks, mate,” he pointed out, “I ain’t got no hair. Bring it back when you’re done, yeah?”